Myth #7
Spending a weekend at a college on my own, visiting a friend or a student chosen by the admissions office, is a great way to “really” learn about a college.
I am honestly stunned that so many parents bite for this particular piece of nonsense. Unlike some of the other myths we’ve discussed, this one has been around forever . . . and people still believe it! My parents were pretty smart and even they bought it way back in the day. It didn’t make any sense then and it doesn’t make any sense now. Let me adjust that a bit. It doesn’t make any sense for the student . . . of course it’s fabulous for the college. And that’s why this myth has been around for several decades. It’s a great deal for the college so they’ll perpetuate the myth for as long as they can.
We’ll discuss why colleges are so interested in perpetuating this myth in a moment . . . but first let’s bust the myth. Discussing the college admissions process there are many times when I support the student’s opinion in the age old student versus parent battle . . . but this isn’t one of them! Let me explain why. I like to put issues into real world context by making minor or cosmetic shifts in an argument and then taking a look to see if it still makes sense. Let’s try that with this one.
If your son or daughter said to you, “Mom . . . Dad, some older kids that you don’t really know have an apartment on their own about 100 miles from here. Some of them are old enough to buy beer and there aren’t any parents supervising but it’s all cool so . . . I’m going to go spend the weekend with them ‘cuz I’m really interested in learning about a college nearby where they live.”
Would any sane parent buy into that? Of course the very best part of this myth is that someone reading this right now is saying . . . “I don’t agree, my older son or daughter went to visit Boston College for a weekend by themselves and they thought it was very valuable. They said that they learned a lot about the college. In fact, it was their top choice when it came time to apply.” Please . . . listen to yourself! Did you honestly think they were going to come home and say, “Mom, I had a blast! I stayed up till 4AM drinking beer and eating pizza with a bunch of kids who were 3 years older than me, then we slept till noon, went to an IHop for pancakes, then went to a football game, and then went to a rad frat party. I am so going to that college next year!”
No, somewhere on the flight home, that response became, “Mom, I really learned a lot about the college and you know what? I think it really felt like a good match. I could totally see myself studying there.”
And that’s exactly why every college works as hard as they can to encourage these visits and perpetuate the myth. As stunning as this might seem to you . . . most high school students visiting a college don’t spend a great deal of time auditing classes or talking to professors. They stay up late, they go to parties, they go to sporting events . . . in short, it’s high school “heaven”.
Most bridal shop owners will tell you that a remarkable percentage of brides buy one of the very first wedding dresses that they try on. Why? Because it’s the first time they realistically see themselves as a bride. It’s a very powerful and satisfying image. It’s not the particular dress that’s so appealing but rather, by being in that dress, or any wedding dress, they envision themselves as a bride. Sales people will tell you the same is true in real estate and when you buy a new car. Why do you think the salesperson is so intent on encouraging you to take a test drive? Why do you think they’ll let you borrow the car over night? Once you drive that car into your driveway . . . you picture yourself driving it home every day. If you can get the customer to take the car home, you don’t need any slick talk to make the sale. The customer will sell themselves. The same principle is just as powerful in college admissions.
If a college can get students interested . . . then those students will apply. This does two things for the college. First, it gives them the inside track on good applicants. Second, it boosts applications from talented applicants and increasing applications helps them in the US News & World Report rankings, which has become very important. As boring as it sounds, visiting a college campus with a parent is a much better experience for the student.
Don’t misunderstand the myth. We’re not suggesting that your son or daughter is going to be led astray at one of America’s great universities. We’re not suggesting that they’ll return home damaged. It’s simply that they won’t return home having learned a great deal about the college they visited. It will likely be a wonderful weekend and they’ll enjoy it but it won’t necessarily give them a reasonable view of the college.
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