Helicopter Parents . . . Quit hovering!
The newest four letter word in the college admissions world is helicopter as in “helicopter parents”. These are parents who hover around their children and just can’t seem to let go. But let’s take a closer look because as we all know, in the real world, helicopters tackle some important and valuable tasks!
No doubt, some parents can be overly involved or controlling. There’s nothing new about this phenomena . . . those parents have been around since the beginning of time. Recently however, helicopter parenting has been front page news. Google “helicopter parents” and you’ll get nearly two million references . . . almost all negative. Is it hype or legitimate? Well, in spite of what you read, the term “helicopter parent” is probably grossly over used.
One of the most aggressive studies I found claimed that 38% of parents were helicopter parents. They came to this conclusion by asking college students if they thought their parents were overly involved in their lives. I’m stunned that the response wasn’t 100%! Upon investigation, students in this study offered explanations of extreme involvement and pressure from their parents. One young woman was shocked and offended because her father suggested she contact Fortune 500 companies for a summer job or internship. Even experts we’ve come to trust and who are generally reasonable seem to have gone haywire over this issue. The College Board notes on its web site that if you talk to or text your son or daughter several times a week while they are at college, then it’s likely that you’re an unhealthy helicopter parent. This is absurd!
The television networks run public service announcements stressing how important it is to talk with your children. Marriage counselors have been promoting the importance of communication in building healthy relationships for generations. Now, in the world of college admissions, suddenly it’s unhealthy to talk to your kid if they happen to be away at college?
So, let’s forget about the media hype and understand that the core of this issue, parents who truly step over the line, probably affects many fewer students than we’ve been led to believe. It’s interesting to note that the same study which found 38% of parents over involved, also claimed that almost half that many parents were completely uninvolved in the lives of their college student children! Do the math and this particular study claims that fewer than one of every two college students has parents who aren’t either grossly over involved or grossly under involved in their lives.
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